


7 ate 9 (2012)

by Elaeda



Series: Trash Series [2]
Category: 9 (2009), The Brave Little Toaster (1987), どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: Gen, this was a bad idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-18 00:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13670256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elaeda/pseuds/Elaeda
Summary: The sequel to the written classic "Exploding Babies"Seriously though this is only marginally better written than the last one, I suggest you don't read this if you're looking for an actually well written fanfiction.





	1. The Dilemma

Rosie:  You can’t get rid of us!  We’re awesome!  
Made by the creator of “Exploding Babies” and “Soap”  
3: Ready…  
4: Set…  
LAVENDERACGIRL/random1nice1/skycatsroll/Cherry64/yoyo284/Riveris/  
Redrosedreams PRESENTS….  
Ostera: GO!  
7 ate 9  
9: Hey, I’m in a title!  
5: But 9 already HAS his own movie!!!  
Toaster:  So have I.  
64: Do you think I care?!  
Chapter 1: The dilemma  
Olive: Guys, let’s go to the beach!  
Everyone:…………………………………  
Nyuu: NYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *Explodes*  
3: Oh man.  
4: Not again.  
Rosie: What? But I thought we fixed the exploding time loop in the last book!  
6: That one was never published.  
9: Aw.  
Rosie: GUYS! THE POPTARTS ARE ATTACKING THE TOWN!  
9: You said that in the last book.  
6: It was nev-  
9: OH RIGHT HOW SHOULD I KNOW?!  
5: I’m bored.  
3:  You know, There ARE poptarts attacking the town….  
4:  Who’s supposed to die first?  
6: I predict it’s Apple.  
Apple: Aw, man!  
64: Who dies after that?  
6: Me.  
64: Ummm…. Sorry about your loss?  
Random evil giant poptart: RAWR!  
5: OH MY CREATOR!  
Toaster: Apple!  Go sacrifice yourself for a better cause!  
Apple: Me?!  YOU’RE the Brave little toaster!  
*Both Toaster and Apple get crushed by the REGP*  
6: I just cheated death!  
7: Final Destination.  
6: Awwwww- *Gets crushed by poptart*  
1: Now how do we know who dies next?!  
Fiver:  I’ll predict it!  
5: Ummmm….Sure?  
Fiver: Next is…. Vexx, 7, Kimberly, and that giraffe from 2012.  
*They get crushed*  
3: And who’s next now?  
Fiver: The evil clown in Alaska, 1, 8, Bob, Moe, Ellen, Lucy, Mario, Luigi, the Nyan cat, Ashley, K.K. slider, LUV ALLI, Galla, and Lucky.  
Lili: Wow.  
* The evil clown in Alaska, 1, 8, Bob, Moe, Ellen, Lucy, Mario, Luigi, the Nyan cat, Ashley, K.K. slider, LUV ALLI, Galla, and Lucky get crushed.*  
4: And after that?  
Fiver: Everyone else.  
Everyone else: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Gets crushed by poptart*  
9: Aren’t you glad that there was a random person named “Everyone Else”?  
5: Anyone else who dies?  
Fiver: The rest of the survivors.  
Roscoe: Oh, and tell me you’re referring to the cast of Survivor?  
Fiver: Nope.  
9: OH –  
*Everyone gets crushed by poptarts*


	2. Trouble in TiMeWaRp

Chapter 2: Trouble in TiMeWaRp  
Rosie: Oh hey,  our town has a name.  
Lili: A very odd one at that.  
Toaster: I would have preffered  one named after me.  
Bones: Shut up.  
9: Oh hey we respawned  inbetween chapters!  
Rosie: I know that.  
Bob: I LIKE PIE.  
Kaitlyn: HI I’M HAL.  
Rosie: Oh gosh, not her again.  
*************************************************************************************  
ERROR: YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO EAT TOAST.  ERROR CODE 345784738974893743657836  
PLEASE SEE YOUR NEAREST GROCERY STORE MANAGER.  
*************************************************************************************  
9: What the….  
5: What was THAT supposed to be?!  
3: I think it was a code of some sort.  
4: Like WFC-11-12-55 ?  
3: Sort of.  
4: Oh.  
Toaster:  STOP REFERENCING MY STUPID SEQUELS!  
6: Shut up.  
7: I’m bored.  Has anyone seen a cat beast lately?  
9: Nope.  
1: Can everyone shut up and help me look at my cape?!  
Kaitlyn: NO!   
1: ….Spaz….  
Kaitlyn: What did you say? Did you say I am a spaz?  I AM NOT A SPAZ!  YOU HEAR ME?!  I! AM! NOT! A! SPAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
1: I’m over there. * Points in random direction*  
Kaitlyn: *Looks in direction 1 is pointing in*…………Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy……  
1: *In the distance* Spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz spaz…..


	3. The Ruin

Chapter 3: The ruin  
Rosie:  Toaster, I have a question.  Why is everyone on fire?  
Toaster:  What do you mean, “ Everyone is on fire?”  And what is that burning smell?  
2: I’M ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
3: Yes.  
4: We all are.  
5: Good point.  
9: Is this a regular thing?  
Flicker: Of course it is.  
Rosie:  *Gasp* Flicker!  You’re alive!  
Flicker: Of course I am.  
Rosie: Where were you?  You missed the poptart attack!  
Flicker: ….So I did.  I was busy sacrificing myself for a greater good.  
Rosie: Wait.  You’re here, so that must mean….  
Candy: HEY GUYS!!

Rosie: Aaaand I’m correct.  Again.  
Candy: About what?  
Rosie: YOU.  
Apple: Who’re you?  
Flicker: I am Samamtha Serene celestical rekcilf neves kcilc the 64th. Just call me Flicker.  I like throwing sticks at people!  
Rosie: They can’t break my bones, though.  
Flicker: Shut up or I’ll start using grenades.  
Candy: Moo.  
Flicker: What?  
Candy: MOO!  
Kaitlyn: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Rosie: OH NO!  Kaitlyn has cursed Candy to only be able to saw moo!  What do we do?!  
6: We go to our handy dandy notebook.  
Rosie: NO.  
5: Let’s just call the police.  
Rosie: There’s no police here!  
64: Why is no one listening to me?!  
Rosie: I DUNNO!  
Toaster: GUYS!  
Rosie: WHAT?!  
Ostera: Let’s go to the beach!  
Candy: Ok!  
1: YOU’RE CURED!  
Candy: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY- *BOOM*  
Rosie: Oh COME ON!  
Mia: SUP?  
Rosie: Oh GOSH…


	4. The Reference

Chapter 4: The reference  
Rosie: Soooo…  
9: Ummm…  
3: We have a question.  
7: What?  
4: Does anyone find it weird that we can talk?  
5: You’ve been talking since the first book.  
3: Yeah.  
4: But we’ve never bothered to ask you until now.  
7: Well, I don’t care.  
9: Isn’t it nice we get a prize for this?  
6:  ….What?  
Larry: BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL- *BOOM*  
2: Smashing.  
Flicker: *Sigh* So, if we say something random in all caps, then we explode?  
Mia: Try it.  
Flicker: No.  
Candy: GUYS THERE ARE- *BOOM*  
64: Uhh…  
5: Stars.  
3: What does THAT have to do with the situation?  
4: Yeah!  
5: … I don’t know, really…  
3: Anyways.  
4: Back on topic.  
9: I don’t mind.  
Bob: Me neither.  
7: THEY DIDN’T ASK YOU.  
The caps locks man: HI.  
Rosie: ……  
Apple: I honestly don’t care.  
Felicity: Yep.  
Rosie: Oh hi.  
Um: Um.  
One day-  
Rosie: SHUT UP.


	5. Plothole

Chapter 5: Plothole  
4: I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU RIVERIS!  
3: Who’s Riveris?  
5: And why are you upset?  
4: SHE KILLED ME FOR THE 56th TIME!  
7:  …What?  
3: Well, what about me?  
4: Well, she uses my deaths to make you incredibly depressed!  
3: …oh.  
4: Yep  
6: …  
9: Who’s Riveris?  
Riveris: Hi!  I’m Riveris!  Nice to meet you!  
Toaster: Why are you killing 4?!  
Riveris: I like feeling sorry for the people I love!  
3: ….  
4: ….Well…That actually makes sense, in a sick, disturbing way.  
Luv alli: Look!  A message in a bottle!  
9: What does it say?  
Luv alli: “ Two swimmers are also divers.  How many skiers are there?”  
Rosie: What the heck?  
3: Uh…  
4: That has got to be the most random message ever put on paper.  
Flicker:  Do you think it has a hidden meaning or something?  
Rosie: Eh, I think not.  
Galla: Maybe it’s like “ The details don’t really matter” or something.  
Candy: But um, details DO matter.  
Flicker: That’s the smartest thing I heard from you so far.  
Candy: YAY!  
Luv alli: Let’s just forget it for now.  Ok?  
Riveris: Ok.  And don’t forget to brush your teeth.  
Maggie: Oh, and Mia?  
Mia: Yeah?  
Maggie: Make sure you eat the Lollipop I sent you!  
Flicker: Ummm….  
9: I LIKE SHNAKS.  
3: We all do, 9.  
4: We all do.


	6. Revenge

Chapter 6: Revenge  
   
Miss: GET TO WORK.  
5: The heck?  
9: Who’re you?  
Miss: I’m Miss!  I’m the nicest person alive!  NOW MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS!  
Rosie: I’ve met PITBULLS nicer  than you.  
The Caps Locks Man: HI GUYS.  WHAT’S UP?  
Flicker: Shut up.  
9: Guys!  Mr. Fab is awake!  
2: AGAIN?!  
Miss: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  
Rosie: Minding our own business.  You?  
Miss: Helping you!  Now GET TO WORK.  THIS IS NOT PLAYTIME.  
Felicity: Get to work doing what?  
Miss: … DO THE DISHES.  
Candy: NO!  
Flicker: Candy, I thought I’d never say this but… I agree.  I WILL NOT DO IT.  
Mia: Agreed.  
Rosie: The dishes suck anyways.  
9: I’ll never do it.  
3: Never.  
4: Never ever.  
5: I don’t want to.  
6: And you can’t change our opinions.  
7: No matter what you do to us.  
2: We would always think cruel thoughts to you.  
Riveris: And that’s the one thing you can NEVER change about us.  
Miss: ….  
64: We are NOT doing the dishes.  
Miss: ….  
6:  We’ve got her, guys.  
7: Umm guys?  
9: What?  
7: Well-  
Rosie: WHAT THE-  
*Everyone but Miss disappears into thin air*  
Miss: Ha! NOW I have them!  They will forever be tortured victims of my cruelty!  
*Silence*  
Miss: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	7. The Capture

Chapter 7: The capture  
Felicity: Augh… Where are we?  
Yu: Probably  in some generic evil lair.  
Rosie: WHY IS IT ALL SO GENERIC ALL OF A SUDDEN?!  
Flicker: She got us.  
Candy: Yep.  
Apple: Hey, where’s 9 and his friends?  
Olive: I think they’re in another room.  
Rosie: Well, that’s great, we can only save our group!  
Felicity: Though some would have to stay behind so the group will likely get away without being noticed.  
Flicker: Ummmm….  
Rosie: Great idea.  
Candy: I’m hungry.  
Flicker: Guys!  She’s coming!  
Miss: Hello there!  Have you slept well?  
64: No.  
Miss: Too bad.  I just wanted to welcome you to my generic evil lair.  Any questions?  
Apple: Where are the stitchpunks?  
Miss: Oh, THOSE things?  I have put them in a special room.  
Olive: What’s special about it?  
Miss: Well, There’s a swimming pool!  
Candy: WHAT?! LUCKY DUCKS!  
Flicker: Umm, Candy, I think she means that their room will flood and they will drown.  
Felicity: Oh my….  
Miss: Yes, Flicker, you’re correct.  Soon, Their whole room will be flooded, and they will all drown and suffer a mysterious fate!  
Rosie: I’ll get out there and save them! YOU JUST WAIT!  
Miss: Try me.  
Rosie: Fine!  *Hits metal bars*  
*nothing happens*  
Rosie: …Cheese.  
Miss: Well, if you need me, I’ll come down every fifteen minuets.  
Felicity: Meh.  
Miss: See you later!  
Rosie: We need to get out of here!  
Riveris: How?!  
Flicker: Easy, look! *Magically breaks metal bars with a stick*  
Riveris: How did you do that?  
Candy: IT WAS MAGIC! YAAAAY!  
Rosie: Guys!  The exploding curse doesn’t apply here!  it must mean we are out of town!  
Felicity: It’s a win win situation!  We get out of here AND the town!  
Riveris: Yeah!  
Flicker: Now let’s go get the stitchpunks and leave!  
Everyone: YAY!  
*MEANWHILE*  
Miss: Hmm, it seems like the first group is escaping.  Well, they can’t win without a sacrifice!  *Presses random button* MUHAHAHAHAHA!  Now they will NEVER feel the same way again!  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	8. Yes I did

Chapter 8: Yes I did  
Candy: Are we there yet? My legs hurt.  
Flicker: You don’t have any legs.  
Rosie: Hey guys, Look!  
*there is a room full of water*  
Felicity: Well, who’s going in?  
Rosie: I’m a cat.  Cats hate water.  
Toaster: Oh yeah?  I’m a TOASTER.  
Riveris: I’ll go.  
Rosie: Well that solves the problem.  
Riveris: *Dives into water*  
Felicity: Well, now what?  
Rosie: We wait.  
Candy: …I’m bored.  
Flicker: I hope they’re alright.  
Larry: BAGEL BAGEL-  
Rosie: SHUT UP.  
Riveris: *Comes up* I GOT THEM.  
Candy: YAYYYYYY!  
Felicity: Are they alright?  
Riveris: I dunno.  
Candy: What if Miss finds us?  
Felicity: She probably already has.  
9: Hi!  
Riveris: Hi.  
Rosie: 9!  YOU’RE ALIVE!  
9: YEP!  
5: And deathly scared of water now!  
7: Good thing I can swim.  
Flicker: Um... Guys?  
6: I AM GOING TO DRAW A PICTURE OF OUR VICTORY.  
Flicker: GUYS?  
Rosie: AND MISS WON’T FIND US!  
Flicker: GUYS!!!!!!  
9: WHAT!?  
Flicker: They’re dead!  3 and 4 are DEAD!  
Rosie: Oh, you’re right.  
Candy: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY’RE TO IMPORTANT TO DROWN!  
Flicker:  Poor little things….  
Riveris: Please wake up guys…I’ll never torture you again…. Please…..  
Toaster: ….  
Rosie: We lost them.  
Felicity: Miss is responsible, right?  
9: Well, we were just trying to avoid the water, and suddenly, it got faster and the room started to fill up faster!  
Rosie: It’s OUR fault.  We escaped and I guess miss decided to make the water come faster!  
Felicity: …  
9: Well, even though it is really sad to lose the twins, we have to get going.  
Candy: Can we mourn their loss first?  
Flicker: Sure.  And nice vocabulary.  
*Everyone mourns*  
3:…  
4: …. Ummm…..  
3: Guys.  
4: can you hear us?  
Candy: Will you shut up?  We’re trying to mourn you!  
3: Ummm….  
4: …Why?  
9: YOU DROWNED!  
3: Oh.  
4: Can we mourn too?  
Flicker: Sure… Wait a minute.  You’re alive?  
3: OF COURSE!  
4: We ALMOST drowned.  But thanks for your concern.  
Riveris: Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s go!  
Rosie: Hey, I’M the leader, not YOU.


	9. The Climax, and an unexpected hero

9: since this chapter is about me, I'll tell you guys about myself!  
Miss: No! We need to get on with the plot!  
9: NOOOO!!!! THIS! CHAPTER! IS! ABOUT! MEEEEEE!!!! *Kills miss*   
Rosie: Holy cheese.  
Riveris: You... KILLED her...  
9: Yeah, so?  
Felicity: You just saved us all!  
9: Really? Wow.  
Flicker: Can we celebrate?  
9: Sure. IT'S ABOUT US. ALL ABOUT US. IT'S-  
3: Not that song.   
4: Please.  
6: It's annoying.  
7: You know what i'm going to do?  
9: What?  
7: *Bites 9* You should know...  
9 AUGH!!!! *Runs away with 7 chasing him*  
Candy: LET'S HAVE RANDOM DANCING!  
CLM: OK  
*Random dancing*  
Rosie: But we aren't at the last chapter then.  
Riveris: Oh. Hold on a second....


	10. The reveal

Riveris: There we go!  
Rosie: HOW DID YOU DO THAT.   
Riveris: How do you think I did it?  
Rosie: I bet Riveris isn't even your real name! WHO ARE YOU?!  
Riveris: If you say so.... *Removes hood*  
Everyone: GASP!  
Rosie: NARRATOR?!  
Riveris/Narrator: Yep! It's me!  
3: YOU KNEW WE WERE'NT DEAD RIGHT?  
R/N: Yep!  
Rosie: AUGH!!!!   
Apple: Why don't I have any lines?  
R/N: You have some now.  
Apple: YAY!  
Rosie: Augh.  
7: Mmmmm...Tasty.  
Flicker: You actually ate him?  
7: Yep  
4: Ouch.  
3: Can we end this?  
R/N: Sure. But we must end it IN STYLE!  
Rosie: How?? …..OH WAIT NO DON'T-  
*BOOM*  
R/N: That's all, Folks!


End file.
